What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? 2 You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. 3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. James 4:1-3
In other words, he says: “do you know why you fight so much? It’s because you don’t get what you want! You would rather kill a relationship to get what you want, rather than see your relationships succeed and glorify God”
This past week I preached on resolving conflict at my church. Here is the key idea:
What if before I got into a heated argument, I said, “this is why I am mad” and then listed what I wanted and felt I was not getting. AND THEN…BEFORE CONFRONTING THE OTHER PERSON, what if I went to God and asked for His guidance?
In every argument, I am partially to blame. Every conflict would be closer to being resolved if I would simply acknowledge: “I am mad because I am not getting what I want”