The reason you fight (How to fix your family, Part 2)

idealFamilyJames, Jesus’ brother (who thought Jesus was crazy until he saw him rise from the dead…) says this about conflict:

What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? 2 You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. 3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.                            James 4:1-3

In other words, he says:  “do you know why you fight so much?  It’s because you don’t get what you want! You would rather kill a relationship to get what you want, rather than see your relationships succeed and glorify God”

This past week I preached on resolving conflict at my church.  Here is the key idea:

What if before I got into a heated argument, I said, “this is why I am mad” and then listed what I wanted and felt I was not getting.  AND THEN…BEFORE CONFRONTING THE OTHER PERSON, what if I went to God and asked for His guidance?

In every argument, I am partially to blame.  Every conflict would be closer to being resolved if I would simply acknowledge: “I am mad because I am not getting what I want”

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